Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Persian jokes are modified and translated from english ?!?!?
Persian jokes are modified and translated from English ?!?!?
I couldn’t believe it till my south African friend sent me these jokes, For sure he has no connection to Persians apart me but I heard most of these jokes in Farsi mainly linked to “Torks” and “Rashti” people.
So that’s where they come from. See :
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>>>THE 1ST AFFAIR>>>>>>A married man was having an affair>>>with his secretary.>>>One day they went to her place,>>>and made love all afternoon.>>>Exhausted, they fell asleep>>>and woke up at 8 PM.>>>The man hurriedly dressed>>>and told his lover to take his shoes>>>outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.>>>He put on his shoes and drove home.>>>"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.>>>"I can't lie to you," he replied,>>>"I'm having an affair with my secretary.>>>We had sex all afternoon.">>>She looked down at his shoes and said:>>>"You lying bastard!>>>You've been playing golf!">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>THE 2ND AFFAIR>>>>>>A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters>>>but always talked about having a son.>>>They decided to try one last time>>>for the son they always wanted.>>>The wife got pregnant>>>and delivered a healthy baby boy.>>>The joyful father rushed to the nursery>>>to see his new son.>>>He was horrified>>>at the ugliest child he had ever seen.>>>He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of>>>this baby.>>>Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!>>>Have you been fooling around behind my back?">>>The wife smiled sweetly and replied:>>>"Not this time!">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>THE 3RD AFFAIR>>>>>>A mortician was working late one night.>>>He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,>>>about to be cremated,>>>and made a startling discovery.>>>Schwartz had the largest private part>>>he had ever seen!>>>"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician>>>commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated>>>with such an impressive private part.>>>It must be saved for posterity.">>>So, he removed it,>>>stuffed it into his briefcase,>>>and took it home>>>"I have something to show>>>you won't believe," he said to his wife,>>>opening his briefcase.>>>"My God!" the wife exclaimed,>>>"Schwartz is dead!">>>>>>THE 4TH AFFAIR>>>>>>A woman was in bed with her lover>>>when she heard her husband>>>opening the front door.>>>"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner.">>>She rubbed baby oil all over him,>>>then dusted him with talcum powder.>>>"Don't move until I tell you,">>>she said, " pretend you're a statue.">>>"What's this?" the husband inquired>>>as he entered the room.>>>"Oh it's a statue," she replied,>>>"the Smiths bought one and I liked it>>>so I got one for us, too.">>>No more was said,>>>not even when they went to bed.>>>Around 2 AM the husband got up,>>>went to the kitchen and returned>>>with a sandwich and a beer.>>>"Here," he said to the statue, have this.>>>I stood like that for two days at the Smiths>>>and nobody offered me a damned thing.">>>>>>>>>>>>THE 5TH AFFAIR>>>>>>A man walked into a cafe,>>>went to the bar and ordered a beer.>>>"Certainly, sir, that'll be one cent.">>>"One cent?" the man exclaimed.>>>He glanced at the menu and asked:>>>"How much for a nice juicy steak>>>and a bottle of wine?">>>"A nickel," the barman replied.>>>"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.>>>"Where's the guy who owns this place?">>>The bartender replied:>>>"Upstairs, with my wife.">>>The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs>>>with your wife?">>>The bartender replied:>>>"The same thing>>>I'm doing to his business down here.">>>>>>>>>THE 6TH AFFAIR>>>>>>Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.>>>He looked up and said weakly:>>>"I have something I must confess.">>>"There's no need to, " his wife replied.>>>"No," he insisted,>>>"I want to die in peace.>>>I slept with your sister, your best friend,>>>her best friend, and your mother!">>>"I know," she replied,>>>" now just rest>>>and let the poison work."
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I couldn’t believe it till my south African friend sent me these jokes, For sure he has no connection to Persians apart me but I heard most of these jokes in Farsi mainly linked to “Torks” and “Rashti” people.
So that’s where they come from. See :
*******************************************************************
>>>THE 1ST AFFAIR>>>>>>A married man was having an affair>>>with his secretary.>>>One day they went to her place,>>>and made love all afternoon.>>>Exhausted, they fell asleep>>>and woke up at 8 PM.>>>The man hurriedly dressed>>>and told his lover to take his shoes>>>outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.>>>He put on his shoes and drove home.>>>"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.>>>"I can't lie to you," he replied,>>>"I'm having an affair with my secretary.>>>We had sex all afternoon.">>>She looked down at his shoes and said:>>>"You lying bastard!>>>You've been playing golf!">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>THE 2ND AFFAIR>>>>>>A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters>>>but always talked about having a son.>>>They decided to try one last time>>>for the son they always wanted.>>>The wife got pregnant>>>and delivered a healthy baby boy.>>>The joyful father rushed to the nursery>>>to see his new son.>>>He was horrified>>>at the ugliest child he had ever seen.>>>He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of>>>this baby.>>>Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!>>>Have you been fooling around behind my back?">>>The wife smiled sweetly and replied:>>>"Not this time!">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>THE 3RD AFFAIR>>>>>>A mortician was working late one night.>>>He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,>>>about to be cremated,>>>and made a startling discovery.>>>Schwartz had the largest private part>>>he had ever seen!>>>"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician>>>commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated>>>with such an impressive private part.>>>It must be saved for posterity.">>>So, he removed it,>>>stuffed it into his briefcase,>>>and took it home>>>"I have something to show>>>you won't believe," he said to his wife,>>>opening his briefcase.>>>"My God!" the wife exclaimed,>>>"Schwartz is dead!">>>>>>THE 4TH AFFAIR>>>>>>A woman was in bed with her lover>>>when she heard her husband>>>opening the front door.>>>"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner.">>>She rubbed baby oil all over him,>>>then dusted him with talcum powder.>>>"Don't move until I tell you,">>>she said, " pretend you're a statue.">>>"What's this?" the husband inquired>>>as he entered the room.>>>"Oh it's a statue," she replied,>>>"the Smiths bought one and I liked it>>>so I got one for us, too.">>>No more was said,>>>not even when they went to bed.>>>Around 2 AM the husband got up,>>>went to the kitchen and returned>>>with a sandwich and a beer.>>>"Here," he said to the statue, have this.>>>I stood like that for two days at the Smiths>>>and nobody offered me a damned thing.">>>>>>>>>>>>THE 5TH AFFAIR>>>>>>A man walked into a cafe,>>>went to the bar and ordered a beer.>>>"Certainly, sir, that'll be one cent.">>>"One cent?" the man exclaimed.>>>He glanced at the menu and asked:>>>"How much for a nice juicy steak>>>and a bottle of wine?">>>"A nickel," the barman replied.>>>"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.>>>"Where's the guy who owns this place?">>>The bartender replied:>>>"Upstairs, with my wife.">>>The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs>>>with your wife?">>>The bartender replied:>>>"The same thing>>>I'm doing to his business down here.">>>>>>>>>THE 6TH AFFAIR>>>>>>Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.>>>He looked up and said weakly:>>>"I have something I must confess.">>>"There's no need to, " his wife replied.>>>"No," he insisted,>>>"I want to die in peace.>>>I slept with your sister, your best friend,>>>her best friend, and your mother!">>>"I know," she replied,>>>" now just rest>>>and let the poison work."
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